The Scroll of Remembering
Below is an extract from a novel I’ll be publishing in a few months. It’s called The Scroll of Remembering and follows a man who comes out of the Nothing with no past and no origin he can name, sworn never to return to it — and never to forget. This extract comes from the very start of the book.
-
In the time that was no time, before Ahya the Snake rose from her swollen slumber and shed the water of life from her coiling scales to make the stars, there was nothing. It was a grey nothing with the taste of mist and the colour of Ahya’s mind.
There are some who say that Ahya must have created herself (and consequently the whole universe) from her own mind, since she was the first living being. But how is this possible when her mind was nothing? Others say that Ahya must have been created by another mind separate from her own, a mind that exists in and knows everything. For how can something come out of nothing? Still others say that Ahya never existed, whereas the universe always did and it is pointless to worry about things so far removed from modern life. But these last are usually ignorant men and heretics who invariably change their opinions in the end.
-
Knowledgeable men and priests have argued about Nothing for thousands of years and found little consensus.
Ahya, of course, did not just create the stars; she must have created everything: our world, all landscapes, humans, beasts, Claymen, the higher powers, Talon, The Nameless. Everything.
It is said that she did so because she wanted to know herself, her capacity beyond Nothing.
Some claim that the Scroll of Remembering states that there are corners of the universe where nothing still exists. That on death the souls of some individuals seek out these “corners of nothing” where they find eternal peace (The Grey Haven) or eternal torment (The Grey Waste). Even that some individuals may enter and leave Nothing whilst still living.
-
His world was grey. There were no walls, ceiling, sky, floor or ground. There was no space. He contemplated this and in no time came to a conclusion: the grey was in his mind. Therefore, all he had to do was fill his mind with something and that thing would be, at least in his mind. At least it would not be as boring as all the grey. The problem was that his mind was grey and there was only nothing with which to fill it. He tried very hard to have something in his mind that was not grey and in no time found it. He remembered sensation. He remembered the warmth of his body, the pressure of it, its balance and its weight. He rubbed his hands against his sides and felt the abrasion, on moving them he felt the tension in his muscles and then, all at once, he remembered smell, taste, hearing and finally sight.
His world was still grey. Almost exactly the same as when it was in his mind except now it contained an object: his body. He moved his head and looked down on his pink chest, genitals, feet, hands. Then he looked at the nothing and something was still missing. Now it took him a while to come to a conclusion because time had slipped in around him or he had created it with his movement. But in the end he had it. Slowly a horizon formed at a great distance cleaving earth and sky and he knew that he was somewhere.
The sky was overcast with thick clouds. They were almost uniformly grey with no hint of rain. He stood in a field of ash, a flat plain stretching to the horizon in all directions. The ground was hard beneath his feet.
He studied the horizon for a time and was disappointed with its regularity. He had nothing left in his mind so he decided to start moving. He took a step forward and fell, his head hitting the hard earth. He felt the pain as he hit, and the memory of pain, he tasted ash and felt an oozing warmth on his forehead. He raised himself up, wiped his hand across his brow and found blood on his fingers.
He fell many times as he crossed that plain so that very soon his body was covered with fine grey ash as well as numerous scrapes, scratches and bruises.
When the sun began to set it coloured the sky a deep red and he made towards it. He followed the sun until it sank but the clouds had disappeared now and the moon and stars shed enough light for him to continue. After a short time he came into grasslands but failed to notice the change. For a while his mind became impervious to change and it was as if he had been transported back into the nothing. His body kept moving but he could neither see nor hear anything beyond the grey. And then he fell again.
On raising himself up he found that he had entered a land of shadow. He had been climbing a steep hill and now, as he looked around, he could see giant trees rising all about him and here and there rock outcroppings entwined with tree roots. The air felt chill but not unpleasantly so, even in his naked state, and there was a sharp scent of pine on the breeze. Shadows crisscrossed before him in patterns that suggested deeper signification and the cool light of the stars dazzled his eyes. When he saw the moon he was so overcome with a sense of beauty and mystery that he collapsed again and wept. The sound of his crying mixed with the trills of night birds and the scuttling sounds of small animals and the squeak of bats. He felt as though he had come home and yet as though he had never seen anything like trees and moon and stone before.
When he had wept enough, he got to his feet and continued up the incline until he crested the hill. The crest was clear of the trees that had congregated along its slope, and he saw a dark world revealed to him, of hills and valleys covered with trees and large shapes cruising across the sky. He made his first vow on the hilltop. It was a voiceless and wordless vow but had clarity of intent. He swore that he would never return to the place that he had come from. It was from there that he saw a bright yellow light in the valley below. Because in his world the light was unique, he headed for it.